Saturday, July 18, 2015

stretch marks

I have often looked at the stretch marks across my stomach in disgust and embarrassment.  You know the marks I am talking about - the deep ones that turn white and make lines up the stomach, the ones that come from pregnancy.  I used to joke that they were my "tree of life" since they appeared during my pregnancy with the twins.
Still, four years later, my stomach isn't firm like the models in swimsuit and underwear displays.  In fact, it is covered in stretch marks, flabby, and wrinkled.  It is far from the definition of ideal or beautiful by any means.  It has been easy to hid it away and be ashamed of those lines and marks.  BUT my stomach did something amazing...it expanded to carry two of our beautiful babies at once!
Getting pregnant wasn't easy for us.  We endured months and years of blood draws, tests, doctor's visits, ultrasounds, and negative pregnancy tests.  According to the National Infertility Association, 1 in 8  couples face fertility problems, which means 7.4 million women have received infertility services in their lifetime!  (Infertility isn't just a problem for women but the studies show the female statistics in couples.)  Of the couples who seek medical help for fertility, about 65% give birth to a child.  We were given a beautiful gift that over 2 million people don't receive - we got pregnant!
Being pregnant was amazing and I loved every minute of it.  I felt so privileged that my body carried two beautiful lives!  It nourished, protected, and cared for our twins...something I spent many nights praying for and feared would never happen.  During the pregnancy I was so amazed at what my body was doing for our children that I didn't think about the very quickly growing stretch marks!
There are so many women who would give up everything for those lines across their belly if it means they have a baby in their arms!  Why then should I feel ashamed of them, why do I worry about showing my less than perfect stomach, and why aren't the bodies that carried the greatest gift, life, embraced?
As I tried on swim suits last week, after spending a weekend with three beautiful women who were on their own fertility journeys, I looked at my stomach and smiled.  I didn't smile because my stomach is perfect or "swim suit ready" but because I was reminded that my "tree of life" is beautiful and shows the amazing things my body did!  No, my body isn't perfect by society's definition...I still have stretch marks, wrinkles, and loose skin but I had the honor of carrying two of my children in that belly.  That gift is one that so many long and pray for and one that I will never take for granted.  It is a gift I fought for years to be able to do and would be blessed and honored to do again.
I wouldn't trade my stretch marks for the world.  I will continue to smile when I look at my loose, wrinkled, lined stomach and work to embrace the societal "imperfection".  There are so many women who wish they could do the same.  
.katherine.

1 comment:

  1. Love this!! Such a great perspective on beauty. Love you!

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